Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Last Friday I watched the terrible events unfold just like the rest of the country.

My heart ached and my stomach wanted to be sick.  I wanted to curl up in a ball (with my kids tucked in with me) and just make it all go away.

But, it was afternoon Pre-K time for my son.  He attends a Christian school close to our home.  So, I sent my husband a text..."I don't want to take E to school today."  His reply..."Keep him home, this stuff is out of control".

At this point, my 4 year old son knew nothing about the mass shooting, or his mama's mounting anxiety.

So, I thought about it some more...convinced that E and I should spend the afternoon wrapped up in each other til daddy and sister got home.  I was just about to announce a stay-home-with-mommy-Friday...

...but then the Lord tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Don't you trust me?  You can't be with them all the time, but I can.  And I will always be there for them - no matter what happens."

So, I trusted God.  I took my son to school, still feeling sick, and anxious.  But as I kissed him goodbye, I reminded him that I love him and so does God.  And that's all that matters!

Someone told me this, "God promises us a great ending!"  And so we keep that in mind as our ultimate conclusion.

God Bless

Monday, August 6, 2012

Please don't tell me its a coincidence, or karma, or anything else....but GOD!

Recently my husband and I have been discussing buying/building a new home.  We've thrown around this idea for quite some time because we tell ourselves "our kids need a bigger back yard so that we can buy them a playset".  And then two big things have recently happened that made me question the rationale for paying all sorts of realtor fees just so the kids can have a playset (and mind you, we live only 5 doors away from a wonderful neighborhood park).

#1 - Some dear friends of ours just moved into a beautiful NEW home that they built from the ground up.  They invited us for a dinner (and to see the new house).  My kids were excited beyond because this family had also just purchased a new playset for their backyard.  So, on the evening of the dinner, we arrive at our friends' home and our kids bolt straight out of the car and straight to the playset.  They are climbing, swinging, sliding...and generally having the time of their lives.  Within five minutes, I hear our friends children asking my kiddos to come inside to play or watch a movie.  And then their mother tells me this, "We've only had the playset for a week and the kids are already OVER it!"  What?!?!  But this is why I need a bigger backyard, so that my kids will want to spend more time outdoors and less time telling me they are bored over summer break.  Guess that's just not the case!

#2 - Today I was catching up on my favorite blogs (we've been on vacation for the past week with very limited internet - how can that be?) and one stuck me straight in the craw (as my grandpa used to say).  The blogger talked about how wanting your dream home isn't all its cracked up to be - that once you get that bigger home, bigger yard, bigger garage - you start to fill it up with all kinds of stuff that zap your energy.  Things that keep you preoccupied.  Things that keep you further from the Lord.  And then she said:
 "That's why it is so hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of Heaven.
It's our hearts. It's where our thoughts lie. It's about where our treasure is.
But how do we know if our treasure is in something?
The test taught in that parable of Scripture above is this: how willing are you to give it up?
When you think of this question, do you have anxiety in your chest when you think of selling or giving away certain things {or positions}? What could you leave behind? What could you not?"

Read her blog here:

And then I realized that everything my children need is right here - right in this perfect sized home.  They have a mother, a father, food, clothing, warmth, love, compassion, forgiveness, prayer, and God.  Everything else consumes us and keeps our attention busy and away from the Lord.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Motherhood is...

Prayers to God
On bended knees
Head bowed down
Hear my pleas:

Keep my children
Safe today
Let them not be
Led astray

Teach them mercy,
Compassion, grace
And to always
Seek Your face

May they know You
God Above
Father of
Abundant Love

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Welcome!  I've thought about this blog for a long time and wasn't sure if I should move forward or not.  But, after more contemplation, I've decided that regardless of anything else, I want this to be something my children can read in the future.  To know a bit more about the mommy who tucked them in at night, who made them meals, read with the, and loved them with all her heart.

Who I Am:

  • An OSAHM "Older Stay at Home Mother" (not by choice but because of infertility) of two beautiful children who have made me a better person.  But I still long to get dressed in something other than jeans and have an adult conversation over lunch (and preferably not PB&J).
  • A Wife married for 20 years to my college sweetheart (the man who rides this daily roller coaster with me and never asks to get off).
  • A Daughter who misses her parents (they live a plane ride away) and wants to share in their golden years.  I also try to make sure that my children really know, and will be able to remember spending time with, their grandparents.
  • A Friend who tries to always be there - but sometimes says, or does, the wrong thing, and deeply regrets it.
  • A Daughter-In-Law who struggles with this relationship (if you don't, please give me to "How To") but realizes that this couple raised their son to be the wonderful husband and daddy that has become.
  • A Sister who doesn't always maintain this relationship but tries to remember that someday it will be just the two of us to carry on the family traditions and memories.
  • An OverAchiever (as labeled by my family and friends) who insists on volunteering for everything and then regretting most of it.
  • A Child of God constantly asking for forgiveness and searching for Him in everything.